I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, Kiss me harder, and You’re a good person, and, You brighten my day. I live my life as straight-forward as possible.
Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.
Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.
But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.
And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.
We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.
We never know when the bus is coming.
Lewis, Rachel C.. Tell The People You Love That You Love Them. (via letters-to-nobody)
I write this on the train back to Newcastle. Back home.
This weekend was amazing, and I’ve had my fair share of good ones. We talked about doing this for ages and it finally happened. It wasn’t just empty words.
We have eaten amazing food, seen my first ever game of AFL and shared secrets with each other. I don’t know if I have even been so close to someone before.
I just hope that alana knows how much she means to me. Because I wouldn’t be nearly as happy if I didn’t have her in my life.
Taken 2 days off work to hit up Brisbane with some uni friends.
Been so good to get away from the norm of Sydney and Newcastle even though I like both of those.
And it’s nice to see my own country and meet some cool “adult friends”.
Also, kind of a test if my friend and I can travel together and we can! So bring on Africa!
“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down through the air and there’s a sickly moment of dark surprise.”—A Series of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snicket)
“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”—Marcel Pagnol (via observando)
I’m honestly not sure if I love living in Melbourne, or hate it.
I feel burnt out and refreshed at the same time. I love the independence and anonymity, but I miss my friends and family. I’m feeling so on fire for Jesus and I’m in such a good place spiritually, but I keep avoiding going to church. As Katelyn pointed out to me the other day, I’ve had more existential crises in the past 6 months, but a number of people are remarking that I seem ‘happier’. I don’t know.
I understand you almost 100% and I know those feels. The life of moving away.